Dr. Deborah Birx Found In Coronavirus Task Force Meeting Room Covered In Cobwebs


Anchor: This is WBS News Radio, and it’s 9:13. Members of the White House cleaning staff were alarmed Wednesday upon entering the meeting room of the Coronavirus Task Force only to find coronavirus response coordinator Dr. Deborah Birx seated at the meeting room table, covered head-to-toe in cobwebs. Investigators believe Dr. Birx was waiting for a meeting to be convened for nearly three weeks.

Witness: She just kept thinking it would happen, she’d get a call, “come in, we’re going to meet,” so she wanted to be ready and be there already. But the days just kept going by with no word.

Anchor: Things soon turned desperate for Dr. Birx.

Witness: Yeah, we think at this point that she survived by consuming Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar, who had shown up due to a scheduling error. We found his wallet and keys hidden behind a potted plant.

Anchor: According to sources inside the Department of Health and Human Services, no one there noticed Azar was missing. This is WBS News Radio.