Covid-19 Realizes It Will Wake Up One Day And Be Covid-35

Transcript:

Anchor: This is WBS News Radio, and it’s 6:13. Covid-19 woke up to a startling realization Wednesday, that someday soon it would wake up and be Covid-35. It was a sobering experience for the widespread, deadly illness.

Covid-19: It just hit me — one day soon, in the blink of an eye, I’m going to be Covid-35. And what will I have to show for it? I mean, am I just wasting my youth, infecting everyone all over the place all willy-nilly, not establishing any roots or thinking at all about long-term stability? Maybe I should mutate. Or go to law school.

Anchor: Covid-19 acknowledged that it has accomplished a great deal in its short time on earth, but wonders what life will look like when it becomes Covid-35.

Covid-19: Will I be as infectious? Or will I just be irrelevant because of some vaccine that comes along and mitigates all my effects on people? God, I hope I don’t become my parent, the Rhinolophus Bat. That would be awful. (sigh) I wish I could just stay Covid-19 forever.

Anchor: This is WBS News Radio.